Panties and Bras

The Confrontation with Joanne

An Autobiographical Sketch

When I was in the eighth grade in rural New Mexico in 1951, although most of the children, like me, were only 13 years old, there were a few older boys, 14 or 15, who had left school to work for a year or two or had failed once or twice. These older boys were often tall and muscular, with sinewy limbs and hairy chests.

I was still soft and weak. Moreover, for some unknown reason, my hips and buttocks were very full and round, but my upper torso was thin and skinny, except that I had begun to develop breasts. Secretly, I wore panties and a bra, which I loved to the point of distraction. Of course, I would not have been allowed to wear a brassiere to school. That particular happiness would have to wait till I was an adult.

I was very poor at sports. I couldn’t run. I couldn’t jump. I couldn’t throw. I couldn’t catch. I couldn’t play football, baseball or basketball. But I liked to play hopscotch and jacks with little girls. That was fun!

I joined the 4H Club at that time, and I found them I was good at baking cookies and knitting.

Throughout my years of grammar school, I was completely incapable of fighting. I didn’t even understand that there was supposed to be a possibility for me to win a fight. I just resigned myself to being beaten occasionally. Even when the assailant was two or three years younger than I, I would be quickly trounced.

The boys in my school, especially the older ones, had a code of honor that prohibited them from fighting with girls. Any boy caught fighting with a girl would have been regarded with contempt and ridiculed. However, I was excluded from the society of boys in my school, apparently because I was so feeble and inane and looked like a girl. So I knew nothing of this code of honor. No one informed me. I had no idea that I was not supposed to fight with girls.

Anyway, one day a girl named Joanne was standing in one of the classrooms during lunch break, talking to two or three other girls. For absolutely no reason whatsoever, as I recall, I began mocking and taunting Joanne, to embarrass her before her friends. I considered this very funny.

Joanne asked me several times not to bother her, but I kept it up and kept it up. One of her girlfriends must have sensed that there was going to be a fight. She ran out onto the playground and announced that Joanne and I were going to fight. Immediately, all the children came to the classroom, which was completely full of spectators.

Just as they arrived and started watching, Joanne attacked me furiously. She blacked my eyes, boxed my ears, slapped my cheeks and kicked my buttocks all at once. I had no conception of self-defense. My arms just flailed around uselessly. I didn’t land a punch. I didn’t parry a blow.

When I started bawling and whining, Joanne threw me on the floor, face-down, and pummeled me. Finally, she got up and put her foot in the middle of my back. I squirmed and wriggled, but I couldn’t free myself.

She made me beg her forgiveness and promise to obey her in the future, or she’d beat me again. I had no choice. I begged and I promised as she had instructed.

Joanne made a complete and total sissy of me for the rest of my life.

(591 Words)


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