Panties and Bras


An Autobiographical Sketch

Before 1983, I sang songs that I learned by listening to records. I would sing along till I got the melody and then learn the lyrics, which were generally in foreign languages. I had no idea of where my range was on the musical scale. I tried to sing in a deep, robust voice, as this was a period when I still misunderstood myself.

In 1983, in New York City, I bought a soprano recorder. A soprano recorder is a small wooden or plastic flute. I chose this because of its small size since I was unemployed and carried all my possessions in a shoulder bag. I wanted to learn more songs from the printed music available in Lincoln Center Library.

Learning to play the recorder and teaching myself many new songs, I would also sing them in exactly the same range, that is, soprano. I felt a little self-conscious about this, as I supposed this was a falsetto, and it may have resembled a falsetto at first.

Eventually however, I became very comfortable singing soprano, which I have been doing for almost thirty years. Now my opinion is that I really am a soprano, and that the earlier deeper voice that I used was a reverse falsetto that I adopted under real or imagined peer pressure.

At any rate, I can no longer sing anything but soprano, and even the first few notes above middle C are difficult for me. I like to start at G next above middle C and ascend to high C. When I sing in this range, my voice sounds delicate and silvery, but I love to sing love songs and other songs in this register.

It may sound as if I am engaging in make-believe, but there are so many effeminacies in my nature that are consistent with a soprano voice that I am completely confident that my opinion is correct.

For example, I have a very full bosom. I am flat and thin from the bosom to the waist, but I have broad hips, protrusive and pregnant-looking in front with large round buttocks behind. My genitals are retractile, so that when I wear stretchy panties, they vanish, and it looks as if I have vulvae. I have tested myself and found that my physical strength is equal to that of a girl around six years old. My courage corresponds. During my adult years, I have had nine confrontations or fights with females from 13 to 80, and I have been defeated or humiliated every time. I have been chaste for 30 years. And I wear women’s clothes.

I consider the ability to sing soprano, overcoming the taboos that would have prevented it, a great intellectual achievement on my part. Most people would just dismiss me as a sissy, but I am willing to accept that.


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